The Poem In Your Pocket – By John Ammirati
I am a jealous lover, and this morning I searched through the pockets of the trousers you left at my house, looking for any evidence of infidelity I could pin on you; I always enjoy grilling you with my suspicion, but when I found the poem in your pocket I felt a thrilling new anguish. It was a beautiful, anonymous poem entitled “Dear Robert”. I was jealous not only because you have a secret admirer, but because he is a far better poet than I will ever be.
I tore apart my room in a rage after reading the poem; I cried; I re-read the poem. Then I plagiarized it, changed the title to “Dear Peter”, and gave it to Peter Hoskin, my gym instructor. Flattered, he asked me out and we’re going on a date this Friday.