Damon Hill, Doctor Kildare and me… still? – By Rosemary Bach-Holzer
Offbeat Writings / November 22, 2009

Part One I’m supposed to enlighten you with an update? My fault, I suppose, for leaving my previous account on a real cliffhanger. What do you mean, not that you noticed! Hmm… I’m no longer in hospital. I made my escape, that is, I discharged myself after one night. Not on my list of my most favourite places in the world especially when having to share a room with the woodwind section of not the Royal Philharmonic Orchestra. Did I ever get back to sleep? Yes, thank you, absolutely, but only with the aid of a sleeping tablet strong enough to knock out two fully-grown elephants and then I was awoken by a nurse three hours later. “Mrs Bach-Holzer? Mrs Bach-Holzer, wake up, please.” “Hmm…?” “Mrs Bach-Holzer, please wake up!” “Wassup?” “Ah, good. We must ensure you get some sleep.” “Eh?” Did they find out what was wrong with me? I mean, besides everything else. No. Well, yes and no and thereupon I discharged myself. The meals weren’t too bad even if they did feed me meat. They had been notified that animal wasn’t to be found on my personal menu at home, although, messing up my food wasn’t a…

The Gorilla – By Adam Graupe
Flash Fiction / November 22, 2009

It was my first day on the job as a clerk at the Department of Motor Vehicles, and the line stood about twenty people deep. I looked over to a Gorilla who sat at his desk. This Gorilla was at least fifty pounds overweight and wore glasses that constantly slipped down the bridge of his nose. There was one other worker in our branch, a chimp of about 30. I never figured out what the chimp’s job was as he usually sat in a corner next to a printer and never spoke. According to legend, the Gorilla drove several dozen DMV employees to branch transfers, resignations, and early retirements. Like the fool that I was, I thought somehow I could deal with a Gorilla. I called out, “I could use a little help at the front counter.” A brunette six places back in line cleared her throat. The Gorilla said, “I could help you.” I gave an eye test to a teenager and after completing this I looked over and the Gorilla sat at his desk. I said, “I thought you were going to come up.” The Gorilla said, “I said I could help you, I didn’t say I would…