Am I A Monster? – By Christine A. Kirchoff
Honestly do you believe it, me the subject of nightmares? I’m a simple woman pushed too far. Some would say I snapped, but I didn’t break any bones.
Here’s my story, please remember the question.
My name is Jan I was 24 when I found my husband. We met at a bookstore. He was in the horror section, should have guessed it, but his tight butt caught my eye. I wanted to go over and squeeze one cheek. He was older than me by 20 years. Only discovered that after I asked him to reach a book, Murder Most Rare by Kelleher. Bought me coffee, such a gentleman. We began having chats online, didn’t even realize how naive I was being. Everyday we’d type to each other. Come together whenever our schedules would allow. Usually coffee or a quick bite to eat. Very casual and easy going. I wanted more. On our third laid-back date I told him so.
“Marn…” He sat across from me in jeans and a black t-shirt. His brown locks danced in the wind. The ice cream before him on the table began to melt. “What are we doing? I really like you.” I let the sentence dangle and waiting to hear his response.
“I really like you too Jan…”
Marn smiled, false teeth, but what did I care. Love can make you blind! He leaned over the table. Moving black hair away from my ear and kissed my cheek. It was tender and sweet, I smiled. “How much do you like me?” Marn grinned, leaned further and pressed his lips against mine. In moments Marn took the kiss deeper. His tongue stroked, teeth nibbled. We almost did it right there on the table near the ice cream shop. Ah, the beginning of love. We went to his place afterward. He was never married, but he had always wanted to. That is where our conversation led. Down the road that lovers take.
A month later and we managed to see each other every weekend. Made love in his bed, my bed, the shower (both homes), the bathtub (both homes again) and the deck one night with the stars twinkling overheard. He was amazing in bed, Marn did this twist when he was to the hilt. It drove me wild…still does. Still a fool I guess.
We had two more months of bliss. Spent evenings together. Took long walks, sailed (he had a boat), and enjoyed each other. The end of that second month is where it happened. We were panting, he collapsed on me and I hugged him close as I gazed at the sky above. Our picnic in the park had gotten interesting and both of us were naked on the blanket. Sandwiches scattered to the ants. If someone should have happened along they would have gotten quite a view.
Marn leaned up and kissed my jaw. Going lower, “Question…” Marn muttered between licks and suckles.
“Mmm…” No actual words formed.
“Will you marry me?” My heart stopped, not literally. Obviously I didn‘t have a heart attack. I was just stunned and elated at his want to spend eternity with me. Stupid woman, so stupid.
We got married at a beautiful ceremony near Lake George. Marn was a lawyer so he had money for the fancy stuff. I had no family and the wedding was his relatives. Ah, so much joy on that day. In a white gown and the sweet vanilla cake we cut. It was a day that will be forever etched into my mind.
Our honeymoon was non-existent. He had work, I started my job as an accountant for Hooters. So we made love and spent all night in the bubble bath. Eight in the morning, room service brought a four star hotel breakfast and then we’d have to go back to reality.
“Room service.” The girl called out. I knew it was a girl and not a woman. Her voice held such a squeak.
“Yes, come in,” Marn yelled back adjusting his robe so the parts I fondled would not show. The blond, size 2 walked where I was sitting next to him and smiled maliciously. Marn grinned right back and I swear his thing got harder in my grip. He watched her the whole time. Saying thank you and the tip was on the counter. Marn even went so far as to gaze at her butt as she left. I let it go, but never forgot.
I’ll jump ahead to the next event. The times in between were pleasant enough. It was a year since we’d married. Our sex dwindled and he spent more time at work. That’s when I found the lip stick stain on his shirt. “That is not my lipstick…” I screamed at him. You have to understand I was enraged. I loved this man and he cheated on me. Slept with hussies and Marn denied every bit of it. So the next day I followed him to work. I saw her, the brunette. She was flirting with him even after her eyes fell on our wedding band, the hussy!
That night while the brunette approached her car in the dark lot, I slit her throat. Cut it clean across. Ruined her dark blue business suit and stained her tan skin. Didn’t realize blood splattered like that. Wound up stripping then burned the clothes and roasted marshmallows to explain the fire. It worked, Marn roasted with me. He even spoke of her the following week. Saying one of the secretaries disappeared. She didn’t actually disappear, she’s just at the bottom of the lake near our house, but no one had to know that.
Two months passed before I found another woman trying to steal my man. She stared at his butt as we walked through South shore mall, not nice. I told her so when we met in the ladies room. Bashed her head against the wall over and over. Just until she stopped fighting. I managed to strip her skirt off, wipe down fingerprints and make it look like a rape. I won’t tell you exactly how I did that, my little secret. On a side note: all the blood she was spewing covered up any fingerprints I may have missed.
Standing in our home nearly four months after that nasty mall incident, he’s done it again. How can I be so naive? Marn looked at his sister like he wanted to throw her on the carpet and screw her silly. Could it be me? Could I just be very jealous? The thought crossed my mind as his sister and I went for a walk around the block. To say the least, she never returned. I told him she was picked up by a friend of hers, of course he didn’t believe me. He was probably angry at not getting laid by her even though I was right there in front of him. Me and my C breasts.
Marn looked out the window when I finally confronted him. “Marn…you’re cheating on me.” He could deny it all he wanted.
“Damn it Jan. I’m not doing this again. I love you. Forever and always baby. You’re just paranoid. I love only you…” He said the words as I swung the ax. It landed right between his eyes. A nice shot, if I do say so myself. More blood to cover up my fingerprints, though in this case I don’t think it mattered. I dragged his sister back to the house and let their corpses lay upon each other. The fool that I was, I really did fall for Marn. I burnt the house to the ground. Stole a couple of thousand to start a new life.
Here I am now. In a new town in Texas. A nice little place away from the city wondering if I’m a monster. I’ve decided, I am. I’m a monster for not letting Marn get one last lay.
“Hello there, Ma’am.”
My eyes went right to his butt. This cowboy nods and tips his hat. “Hello.” I grin like a school girl, but he is so good looking it has my cheeks flushing.
With a raspy voice he asks, “Can I buy you a coffee?”