Comments on: On The Train – By Melonie Magruder

By: Faerie♥Kat

Faerie♥Kat — Mon, 25 Aug 2008 03:07:26 +0000

I love the way you reconnected the two women on the train, the young woman in pink gloves and the woman observing her response to the “war of the sexes,” by having the woman purchase her own pink gloves, which indicates to me that after her interview she’s decided that “I really don’t care, anymore, I really don’t. I’m, like, so over it” when it comes to the “war of the sexes” in the business environment (witness the male banter before the elevator and derogatory remark by Shapiro’s “wingman”). So, did she get the job? I think I hear her saying, “Who gives a f***? I’m hungry.”

I, too, think the dialog was very natural. The changes of perspective and location were a bit of a challenge, but were handled masterfully and added to the essence of the story.

I look forward to reading more of your work.

Kat

By: Bob Magruder

Bob Magruder — Tue, 19 Aug 2008 19:12:57 +0000

Well written. I liked it a lot. But did she get the job?

By: Bettany 17

Bettany 17 — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 04:10:24 +0000

I enjoyed your story Melonie—-the dialogue was great! Opening paragraph drew me in and you have some profound thoughts!

I too hope this story continues!

Bettany

By: Bomber

Bomber — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 14:32:01 +0000

Melonie,
I really enjoyed this story, I’d like to think that it’s the first of many parts. The scenes were vivid and all became real to me as I read.

There’s as much story in what is unwritten as there is in the words.

I wait for more…

Regards,
Bomber.

By: Frank

Frank — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 23:44:27 +0000

It is too short!
Nice work, as usual.

By: Rupert Wates

Rupert Wates — Mon, 04 Aug 2008 21:21:23 +0000

Very nicely written and intriguing, Melinda. Lots of sharp details. Good, natural dialogue. Enjoyed it very much.